It has happened more times than I would like to admit, expectations have—like a thief in the night— completely taken away any joy, memory, fun time, or even a relationship and left me feeling as though I wished that event, get-together, vacation, memory, or even friendship, never happened. I have a terrible habit of envisioning exactly how I think something should go, and then chalk it up as a failure when it doesn’t turn out the way I thought it should. Sometimes, if I have any expectations of it having any way of being a miserable time, I often decline an invitation in fear of my expectations coming true. Ugh. The problem...I am letting all expectations steal my joy, steal the possibility of greatness, steal an opportunity to invest in someone else. Not only am I allowing this, it seems the thief has become a resident in my mind. If I am not consciously aware, and fight it off, my expectations control me. Insert, sad face.
When I started coming home from a gathering, or event, feeling like it was an utter waste of my time and feeling the need to seclude myself from society, I realized I had a problem. What was I focusing on that made me feel so doom and gloom? How did this outing, that should have been a fun time, turn so quickly? Bottom line: expectations. In my mind, I had built up these expectations, and when they weren’t at all that way, I was failing to see the good in the time and focusing on all the negative things. I was failing to see what I could have given and then felt robbed because I hadn’t received anything. What a self-centered way of thinking! I missed it. I missed the chance to lift some else when they needed it. I missed the chance to laugh instead of judge. I missed every moment, stuck in the disappointment, instead of just living in it.
How did I stop the thief? I stopped trying to control everything in fear. I stopped envisioning how a conversation would go to allow for me to listen. I stopped judging an environment based on what meets the eye. I stopped letting me get in the way and started learning to be okay with the unknown of any situation. I stopped trying to change people based on my expectation of them and started appreciating who they are instead of what I think they should be. Sweet friend, stop letting your expectations of something, steal the joy of what is in front of you. Live in the freedom of the moment — having no expectations—allowing yourself to glean joy from anything, no matter what.
