It’s just a number. In the twelve years I have been a special needs mom, I have never sat down and calculated the hours it takes to care for my son. Never had a need to, until one day, I had to. I was asked to sit down and write out everything I do to care for Mason, above what a typical twelve-year-old would be capable of and put approximate times to it. Without going into every detail, the numbers shook out something like this… Attendant care: 3,265 minutes; 54.4 hours a week, 7.7 hours a day. I spend roughly, 7,040 minutes; 117 hours yearly, for Mason’s medical care, doctors’ appointments, insurance calls, prescription pickups, etc. Looking at those, it seems impossible. The hill seems too much to climb or endure, yet each day I wake, and it starts all over. Grueling somedays? Absolutely. But the secret is, I never look at the numbers. I never look at it as above more than what I am called to do. I see my beautiful child. My fearfully and wonderfully made child, and those are just numbers. Wanna know another secret? I really despise when someone says, “I don’t know how you do it.” I do it because he is my child. Given the circumstances, you would too. I do it because God is my strength. I do it because I know this is not our home and that his body will be fully restored in Heaven. Talk about having hope! Oh no sweet friends, there is no room for praise or pity in this because God truly equips me. It is He, not I. He created me to be Mason’s mother, caretaker, nurturer and if He calls us to it, he truly does carry us through it. It is Him that provides the strength, the endurance, the fight, and everything else in between. It is not the earthly recognition I am after, but the heavenly reward. It doesn’t matter if anyone sees what I do because I know He does. So, on the days when I cannot imagine getting through one more minute without crashing, I know He carried an even heavier burden. I know He sees everything, and I know with Him, anything is possible. I hope as you read this you know the power that you have in a life with Jesus and if you do not, I pray you surrender and give your life to him.
